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#^*+=##%% geese!!!

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  • hroark2112
    started a topic #^*+=##%% geese!!!

    #^*+=##%% geese!!!

    You have wings, fly across the damn street!! You're like little waddling women, you all have to go pee together. In a line. During the drive home. 25 of you all trudging across the street like oompah loompahs.

    It's almost 100 degrees here. Shouldn't all you fat bastards be up north by now? Aren't you Canadian geese????

  • icehockeyaf96
    replied
    Every Spring, at the nature preserve in our town, people take kids to explore the area. After a certain point in the trail, many geese like to nest while the male geese try to prevent people from entering the looped pathway. It was like a rite of passage to get past them. The workers told us not to make eye contact and to hold our ground. One time when my kids made it past safely, one male goose attacked me and rode on my back while I swatted at him with my arms. Luckily I was wearing a thick coat, but it did sink its claws into the backs of my legs. When I finally made it to the other side, there was no turning back, and other male geese blocked further segments of the trail. I went through as quickly as possible while my kids, already safely ahead of me, laughed hysterically. I found out that one of the workers marks off a piece of wood on the bridge overlooking the trail, every time someone gets attacked. It's quite comical from that vantage point to see others go through this, but I never savor doing it myself!

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  • goalies-r-us
    replied
    Originally posted by DBK81 View Post
    How many of you sung that part in your head??
    *raises hand*

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  • GoaliePhil
    replied
    Originally posted by CoopALoop1234 View Post
    This is how you now take care of Geese from this point forward.

    Man Fights Goose, With Lightsaber - YouTube

    Enjoy.
    That is excellent!

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  • CoopALoop1234
    replied
    This is how you now take care of Geese from this point forward.

    Man Fights Goose, With Lightsaber - YouTube

    Enjoy.

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  • DBK81
    replied
    Originally posted by Puckaddict View Post
    As the oompa loompas would say "Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee, if you are wise you'll listen to me"
    How many of you sung that part in your head??

    Leave a comment:


  • Puckaddict
    replied
    Originally posted by hroark2112 View Post
    You have wings, fly across the damn street!! You're like little waddling women, you all have to go pee together. In a line. During the drive home. 25 of you all trudging across the street like oompah loompahs.

    It's almost 100 degrees here. Shouldn't all you fat bastards be up north by now? Aren't you Canadian geese????
    I'm going to break this down.

    a: there are no geese on this board that I am aware of. This seems directed at a group of renegade geese who would have to troll this board to get the message.

    b: If you have a problem with this group of geese, please don't assume that all geese act in this manner. This is how stereotypes get started.

    c: Oompah Loompah (is actually oompa loompa) will not be seen out side of the factory. (This is where Mark from DS storms in and makes claims that Reebok is violating child labour laws by using oompa loompa workers.)

    d: If you want to make an example, may I suggest a strategically placed goose head on a stick. (See my recommendations for dealing with a *******)

    As the oompa loompas would say "Oompa Loompa doom-pa-dee-dee, if you are wise you'll listen to me"

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  • icehockeyaf96
    replied
    ^^^Love that! It's especially funny since my husband's first name is "Marvin" and he wears Marvin the Martian tee shirts.

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  • GoaliePhil
    replied
    Could not resist....

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  • icehockeyaf96
    replied
    Qualilty Ultrasonic Bird Repeller, New Delhi, India - Offer-ID:1466416391

    I'm having a pigeon problem under the solar panel - my contractor suggested looking into a noise frequency modulator - it could probably be used on geese too.

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  • MTH
    replied
    Also if any animals eat said missing geese, they too will become missing.

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  • DBK81
    replied
    Originally posted by Smokey 32 View Post
    I like that idea, but poison sounds better. If one were so inclined, how would one administer it?
    Not saying I have or have not done it, and not saying I am advising you to do so, but I was told by a friend of friend of a friend of my sister in law's, that if one was to soak a few slices of white bread in bleach and leave it where the geese happen to be, they will disapear quite quickly, I was also "told" that if you have any other bird or animals around that would eat said bread they would also be on a milk carton in short order. Again all hypothetical

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  • MTH
    replied
    Wood dogs are easy. Like I said, you need to move them around occasionally too. Geese will get brave then the other geese will see the brave one and land near it.

    All you're looking to do is to have the geese land elsewhere. So when they flying by and scanning the ground for somewhere to land, they see the dog shape, they pass.

    I use 1/2 plywood (osb isn't fun in rain) to make the dog shapes. Then I take a 8" piece of 2x4 and screw it to the shape. Drill out 1" hole 4" deep in the 2x4 bottom. Mount the dogs on 2' lengths of 3/4 or 1" pipe.

    The wind will turn them here and there too.

    I thought about adding phony dog tags that would jingle in the wind too. Geese can hear.

    I also paint everything black. For the weather and the best contrast. Beauty of the plywood dogs is that they can be picked up and stored easy as they are thin and light.
    Last edited by MTH; 07-09-2012, 01:08 PM.

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  • HELLAWAITS
    replied



    I hired this guy for 10 bucks an hour to stand on my lawn. The geese are absolutely terrified of his pads and/or haircut. It works like a charm.

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  • hammer
    replied
    Make a wood cutout of a dog shape and they should stay away, we've used this at spots on our golf course, also if one bird is poisoned in an area that group will never come back, not saying poison is the way to go, but I'm not saying it's not either
    On that same note geese do like trumpeter swans - if you can find a decoy or like above a cut out they work well. Or get yourself a herding dog like a border collie - the geese also don't like the predatory stance they take when approaching them.

    FYI, goose meat makes a great low fat jerky.

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