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23 Adult truths

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  • 23 Adult truths

    I'm having a good morning, thought I'd share!

    1. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
    2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.
    3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.
    4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.... ...
    5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
    6. Was learning cursive really necessary?
    7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
    8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
    9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind-of tired.
    10. Bad decisions make good stories.
    11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.
    12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.
    13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.
    14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
    15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
    16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Light than Kay.
    17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.
    18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
    19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?
    20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong!
    21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
    22. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.
    23. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

  • #2
    That is darn good stuff there.

    To quote Homer Simpson "It's funny because it's true".


    • #3
      Great list! My favorite is;
      Good Judgement, comes from Experience. Experience, comes from Bad Judgement.


      • #4
        I like #10. Indeed, my long-neglected novel-writing project is based on that premise.

        My freezer has a light. The light in the refrigerator, though, keeps not working.


        • #5
          and with that, number 11 just set in for me


          • #6
            I would like to add this:

            Sex for over an hour is uneccessary. Get the job done in 15-20 minutes have a sandwhich and go to sleep


            • #7
              I would like to add this:

              $ex for over an hour is uneccessary. Get the job done in 15-20 minutes have a sandwhich and go to sleep

              After 20 years of marriage... these numbers drop off dramatically, except for the sandwich part.

              ... just saying.


              • #8
                How about

                unless you are employed as a sports team mascot, there is no reason for an adult to regularly dress up in an animal costume for any reason, especially if said costume has a strategically placed hole.


                • #9
                  TheRonTom31 and Gort: As a 51-year-old greymuzzle, I'm very happy to report that you're both wrong. So nyeah!


                  • #10

                    Good for you. I'll stick to my 40-50 minutes every other day


                    • #11
                      I'd like to add one I heard at my friend's wedding this weekend....

                      Never go to bed angry. When you're asleep, you're defenceless!


                      • #12
                        that's too true. If my GF falls asleep long before me after I get bored for a while I'll jump on top of her and scream.

                        she makes the funniest sounds and faces and reactions I have ever seen.


                        • #13
                          Men are easy to figure out: Just remember the Four S's.
                          Sleep, Sustenance, Sex, and Sports

                          Every man needs all, just the percentages change over time.


                          • #14
                            I have many great stories, or so I have been told, thus my decision making ability must be in a questionable state.


                            • #15
                              Originally posted by geojedi View Post
                              Men are easy to figure out: Just remember the Four S's.
                              Sleep, Sustenance, Sex, and Sports

                              Every man needs all, just the percentages change over time.
                              I believe that this thought goes well with the following thought.

                              HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN
                              Compliment her, cuddle her, kiss her, caress her, love her, stroke her, tease her, comfort her, protect her, hug her, hold her, spend money on her, wine & dine her, buy things for her, listen to her, care for her, stand by her, support her, go to the ends of the earth for her....
                              HOW TO IMPRESS A MAN
                              Show up naked, with beer....