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Your GSBB Gear Whore Ranking!! (Long)

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  • Your GSBB Gear Whore Ranking!! (Long)

    Sorry, I got bored at work!

    Ok, here’s a simple way to see who has the most disturbing/rewarding obsession/fetish with goaltending gear. This is meant to be funny, not insulting, so just roll with it!!

    Just add and subtract from a base score of 0. For example: A goalie (+45) who owns one set of pads (+10), one mask (+10), one blocker (+5), one catcher (+5), one chest/arm protector (+10), one pair of goalie pants (+10), a couple of sticks (+3) and a bag (+2) = 100 pts.

    You play goalie?
    Yes = +35
    No = WTF are you doing here loser!!??!! -1000!

    # of leg pads owned:
    1 = -45 (Seriously, who plays with one leg pad!?!? )
    2 = +10 (EVERY real goalie needs 2, unless you’re a noob.)
    4-7 = +15 (minor gear whorage is ok . . .I guess.)
    8+ = +20 (Congrats, now go swim in your giant vault of gold coins Scrooge McDuck! )

    # of masks you own that you currently use (i.e. not broken or retired):
    1 = +10 (It protects the noggin’ after all!)
    2 = +15 (Maybe you’re just worried about cracking and need a backup. )
    3 = +25 (I smell French Gear Whore Perfume, is it you??)
    4+ = +35 (Now I know who to hit up for my next research grant!!)
    Dangler bonus = +1 for every dangler you own
    Any Mylecs, Franklins, or Itech 1000’s? = # times -10 (I dub thee, Sir Raw-Meat of HeadWound! )
    Any retired/broken/purely collectible masks? = # times 2

    # of Chest/Arm Protectors that you own:
    1 = +10 (Congrats on normalcy!)
    2 = +15 (Not bad, could be worse . . .)
    3+ = +20 (How much for one hour?)

    # of goalie pants that you own:
    1 = +10
    2 = +15 (Maybe a little overkill)
    3+ = +20 (Maybe you don’t own any jeans and wear them full time? )
    -10 if you’re using player pants . . .

    # of blockers that you own:
    1 = +5
    2 = +10 (Never hurts to have a spare.)
    3 = +15 (Bet you’re single.)
    4+ = +20 (Professional escort! )

    # of catchers/trappers that you own:
    1 = +5
    2 = +10 (Again, never hurts to have a spare.)
    3 = +15 (Bet you’re divorced too.)
    4+ = +20 (Professional escort, of the whore variety! )

    # of Goalie Jocks/Jills/Cups that you own:
    0 = -10 ( Insanity and whorage do not mix well!)
    1 = +10 (Keeping the family jewels safe for future generations.)
    2+ = +15 (OVERKILL??!!??)

    # of Goalie Sticks that you own:
    1 = +0 (Really, not worried about breakage?)
    2 = +3 (That’s more like it!)
    3 = +10 (Borderline equipment hooker, but ok.)
    4+ = +20 (I suppose you have a stick bag for ‘em too!)

    Speaking of which . . .
    Stick bag?
    Yes = -5 (Stick bags are for presumptuous forwards!!)
    No = +0

    Gear bag?
    Yes = +2
    No = # of trips from the car to get all your gear inside times -3

    Wheels on the gear bag?
    Yes = -2 (Nobody likes a lazy whore…)
    No = +0

    Pad bag?
    Yes = -3 (Really??)
    No = +0

    # of custom orders you’ve made in the past:
    1 = +5 (Everybody likes to splurge once and a while)
    2 = +10 (Money tree in the backyard, huh?)
    3 = +15 (Ok, now you’re just bragging.)
    4+ = +25 (Mr. Gates, I didn’t know you were a goalie!)

    Have you purchased goalie equipment that you don’t need through Ebay?
    Yes = +5 (Impulse Buyer!)
    No = +0

    Have you purchased one of the tuxedo or GSBB jerseys?
    Yes = +5 (Just because you thought about wearing it to prom, huh?)
    No = +0

    Have you ever posted on any the “Show Off Your Gear” threads?
    Yes = +5
    No = -5 (You must participate in class in order to learn anything!)

    Bonus/Penalties:

    Did you count the stars on “The Rick’s” pads during the Olympics?
    Yes = -20 (That’s not whorage, that’s clinical obsession!)
    No = -0

    Have you ever replaced pads just for "something new?”
    Yes = +10 (You probably worked in Amsterdam at one point, right?)
    No = +0 (Sanity cannot be overrated.)

    Do you know what ******* stands for?
    Yes = +5
    No = -5 (How can you read, like 33% of this board?)

    Have you ever bought/sold a piece of equipment because the color scheme just wasn’t quite right?
    Yes = +10
    No = +0

    Do you know what the following mean? [+1 for Yes; -0 for No]
    -Preebok
    -“The Rick”
    -MAF
    -Weave
    -Sport Gold
    -Pro Palm
    -34+1


    BTW, I currently rate a 117 (Forgot the dangler before)
    Last edited by Eidolon; 02-24-2006, 08:53 AM. Reason: Edited for Jock/Cup Inclusion

  • #2
    Wow, another thread with +/- again.LOL.

    Comment


    • #3
      181! Almost as much as my IQ! LOL

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      • #4
        My calculator broke...

        ::m

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        • #5
          Let's just say I would rip most of you apart...

          Comment


          • #6
            Scored a 159
            Last edited by VAPORDEUX6038; 02-23-2006, 05:27 PM.

            Comment


            • #7
              I hope you don't work for the city of NY. People get fired for much less than this
              (i.e. Mayor Bloomdouche firing some poor guy who was not even at his computer for having a soltaire game on his screen)

              Very thorough scoring system though. Good job!

              131
              Last edited by FrankBama; 02-23-2006, 05:23 PM.

              Comment


              • #8
                I just sold a couple sets, so I'm down to 218.

                Comment


                • #9
                  You play goalie?
                  +45....I play (OK...I say I play, some say I flop like a fish)

                  # of leg pads owned:
                  5 pairs (1 I never wear because it's hanging on the wall) = 10 pads = +20

                  # of masks you own that you currently use (i.e. not broken or retired):
                  8....or 9....something like that....freaking Ebay!! +35
                  Dangler bonus = +1 (and it's not on any mask...oops!)
                  Any Mylecs, Franklins, or Itech 1000’s? = # times -10 (I dub thee, Sir Raw-Meat of HeadWound! ) YAY!!! A 0!!!
                  Any retired/broken/purely collectible masks? = 1 Fibrosport, 2 or 3 broken ones...+6

                  # of Chest/Arm Protectors that you own:
                  1!! YAY!! Normalcy!!! +10

                  # of goalie pants that you own:
                  1!! Maybe I am really normal!!! +10

                  # of blockers that you own:
                  5. Crap. Whoreism strikes again. +20

                  # of catchers/trappers that you own:
                  5. Well hell, 5 blockers, 5 catchers. They come in pairs, after all!! +20

                  # of Goalie Sticks that you own:
                  Eh. +20. I'm not counting.

                  Speaking of which . . .
                  Stick bag?
                  Nope. I'm normal again!! +0

                  Gear bag?
                  Yes. +2

                  Wheels on the gear bag?
                  Yes. I'm old. That **** gets heavy after 3 games in a night. -2

                  Pad bag?
                  No. Normalcy strikes agin!! +0

                  # of custom orders you’ve made in the past:
                  Let's count...
                  Pads 1
                  Gloves 2 sets
                  C/A 1
                  Sticks 1

                  +25


                  Have you purchased goalie equipment that you don’t need through Ebay?
                  Me? Impulse buy?? NEVER!! (OK...I didn't NEED the Pro-Glo green Eagle set) +5

                  Have you purchased one of the tuxedo or GSBB jerseys?
                  Nope. Although that sumo wrestler one....never mind. +0

                  Have you ever posted on any the “Show Off Your Gear” threads?
                  Yup! +5

                  Bonus/Penalties:

                  Did you count the stars on “The Rick’s” pads during the Olympics?
                  No...I really couldn't bear to watch. +0

                  Have you ever replaced pads just for "something new?”
                  Absolutely. More than once. My ADD kicks in & I have to get something new. +10

                  Do you know what ******* stands for?
                  Yup. I even own one of *******'s cups. +5

                  Have you ever bought/sold a piece of equipment because the color scheme just wasn’t quite right?
                  Absolutely. And when I was bored with the colors. No black & white for me! +10

                  Do you know what the following mean? [+1 for Yes; -0 for No]
                  -Preebok +1
                  -“The Rick” +1
                  -MAF +1 (those pads are loud...more than one person has asked why I don't have them yet!!)
                  -Weave +1
                  -Sport Gold +1
                  -Pro Palm +1
                  -34+1 +1


                  Total....crap....254

                  imma cry now.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'll bite.

                    You play goalie?
                    Yes = +45

                    # of leg pads owned:
                    4-7 = +15

                    # of masks you own that you currently use (i.e. not broken or retired):
                    3 = +25

                    Dangler bonus = +1 for every dangler you own (+4)

                    Any retired/broken/purely collectible masks? = # times 2 (+6)

                    # of Chest/Arm Protectors that you own:
                    2 = +15


                    # of goalie pants that you own:
                    3+ = +20


                    # of blockers that you own:
                    2 = +10


                    # of catchers/trappers that you own:
                    3 = +15

                    # of Goalie Sticks that you own:
                    4+ = +20

                    Speaking of which . . .
                    Stick bag?
                    No = +0 (I've got three but don't use 'em.)

                    Gear bag?
                    Yes = +2

                    Wheels on the gear bag?
                    Yes = -2

                    Pad bag?
                    No = +0

                    # of custom orders you’ve made in the past:
                    1 = +5 (full set)


                    Have you purchased goalie equipment that you don’t need through Ebay?
                    Yes = +5

                    Have you purchased one of the tuxedo or GSBB jerseys?
                    No = +0

                    Have you ever posted on any the “Show Off Your Gear” threads?
                    Yes = +5

                    Bonus/Penalties:

                    Did you count the stars on “The Rick’s” pads during the Olympics?
                    No = -0

                    Have you ever replaced pads just for "something new?”
                    Yes = +10 (not pads, but gloves, masks, and pants)


                    Do you know what ******* stands for?
                    Yes = +5

                    Have you ever bought/sold a piece of equipment because the color scheme just wasn’t quite right?
                    No = +0

                    Do you know what the following mean? [+1 for Yes; -0 for No]
                    -Preebok
                    -“The Rick”
                    -MAF
                    -Weave
                    -Sport Gold
                    -Pro Palm
                    -34+1

                    +7

                    I got a 227. All my spare combos and danglers pumped up the score a bit. Good thing there wasn't a 10+ category for sticks.

                    edited to add 15 for jocks. I like to always have a clean one.
                    Last edited by RyJ Maduro; 02-24-2006, 10:23 AM.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      i scored a 178.... just because i have lots of extra crap lying around

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        goalie +45
                        3 pairs of pads +15
                        2 masks +15
                        2 c/a's +15
                        1 pant +10
                        4 blockers(velo,blockade,
                        heaton 10, sherwood 9970) +20
                        2 trappers +10
                        10 sticks +20(no stick bag)
                        1 gear bag +2
                        no pad bag +0
                        purchased on ebay 4 hell of it +5
                        posted on show off your gear +5
                        rplaced pads for something new +10
                        i know ******* +5
                        vocab all 7 +7
                        color scheme not right +10

                        im at 194 pts!!!! (little much)

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                        • #13
                          112 i dont know what to think about that is it good or bad? lol

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                          • #14
                            192 ....

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              175 here... I own 3 leg pads and there wasn't an option so I went with the next choice up of 4-7. Single pad on ebay

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